The Bunny Rabbit Story

On Friday night, I came home and there was an animal in the driveway. (And remember I don’t “do” animals.) So, I rolled up slowly thinking my car would scare it away. I didn’t think it moved, so I reversed to look at it and it was still sitting in the same spot. So I rolled forward again, reversed again, still there. About this time I realize it is not my neighbor’s cat, but a fat gray bunny rabbit with a light ears and a white tail.


Next, I thought maybe it was the whole “deer in the headlights” deal, so I turned my headlights off and waited. Turned the headlights back on: Still there. Turned off again, waited, turned on: still there. Ugh, so I get out of the car and tell it to “shoo” and snap my fingers at it and it doesn’t move. (This dumb bunny is not scared of me. At all.) And I am certainly not going to touch it. So, I snap and stomp and clap some more and it finally takes one step forward. So…I keep snapping and jumping and clapping, like a maniac, and it takes another step forward.

I get back into the car. Rolled forward, Reversed, Looked: Still there. Tried the headlights trick a few times: still there.

So…I called my sister, Rachel, the animal lover – she worked at a vet clinic throughout high school SURELY she will know how to make a bunny rabbit move.

“Hey Rach, I am stuck in my driveway, there is a Bunny in the way and I can’t get it to move.”

“Bahhahahhahahah” “What? You are STUCK b/c you can’t get a little bunny rabbit to move” “Bahahhahaha” Hahahaha”

“Rachel, stop laughing. Seriously, Stop. I just need you to tell me how to get it to move.”

“Bahahah – hahah – hahha – telling all her friends how “hilarious” it is that I am stranded in my own driveway. – Bahahah Uhmm, just go out there and shoo it.”

So, I got back out of my car and started telling the Bunny to “Go” “Get outta here” “Shoo” :: Still there.

I started screaming “CAAA!! CAAA!!” and flapping my arms around like a bird :: Still there.

More jumping and flapping and clapping and snapping :: Still there.

I started screaming at Rachel to help me out and she keeps saying “What do you want me to do – I am 800 miles away!”

Ugh. Double Ugh. – Suddenly, The rabbit darted away…right underneath my car!! Ugh again.

“Rachel, Now it went under my car, what do I do?!”

“Just get in and roll forward very slowly.”

Ugh. I high-stepped it to the car (literally) and put my car in gear. Idled forward:: no squish, squeal or bump… so I kept idling forward until I pulled all the way into my spot.

The end.

Also, the next morning both of my neighbors told me they heard me last night… evidently they sat there and watched me out their windows. What!?!! Come help me next time!!! They both concluded that it was definitely someone’s pet rabbit.

The end.